If you are one of the few people who has not read The Help, or fewer still who has not seen the movie, let me fill you in. The Help is about a young White woman in the early 1960s who writes the stories of “The Help” – Black woman who worked as cooks, nannies, maids, etc. for rich White folk. Actually it’s more about “The Help” than the writer. The setting is Jackson, Mississippi, during the Civil Rights Movement. Jim Crow laws were alive and kicking. Minnie is one of The Help who shares her story – and my, what a story she has!
I rarely write much about a book/movie, but they are just so good. I also usually just refer to the book, but Octavia Butler and Viola Davis are phenomenal in the film, and everything they do has stuck with me more than the book. Sissy Spacek is hilarious as the mother of the evil Hilly who is the recipient of the famous pie! And if you’re wondering… Hilly more than deserves it!
Quote:
“Eat my shit!” – Minnie
The terrible awful
You know what? I’m not even sure if that quote is from the book. That same event happens in the book, however. The quote is from the movie. Octavia won an Oscar and everything so that’s what I’m sticking with.
Preparation:
First things first… I’m not gonna put Minnie’s shit in a pie.
- Minnie is a character, not a real person
- Octavia Spencer probably won’t give me her shit
- Shit probably doesn’t taste very good, smells, and is poisonous etc.
I am going to make my first chocolate pie – sans la merde.
I looked up lots of different shit pie recipes and realised that I might not be a fan – shit or choclate aside! I do love custard tart however, and since I make up the rules, I veered off in that direction. Eventually, I went with a pie crust recipe I’ve been planning to try for a while (thank you, Dorothy Kern) and the chocolate part from this cake (thanks again, Nagi).
This concoction will my Ingrid’s Minnie’s Shit Pie. To the kitchen!
So Nagi says that 70% cocoa chocolate is important, and I believe her. However, Jewel (serving The Midwest since 1888) was sold out, so I got the next best one, which was 78%. Then I went home, looked at the recipe again, and realized I needed 7 oz. but only bought 3.5 oz. What a ME thing to do. Here’s where being a chocoholic comes in handy. I happen to have 10 bars of various flavors of Lindt in my room (hidden from greedy kids). Lime, Orange, Chili, Salt, Raspberry, Crunch (underwhelming). This is shit pie. Minnie would want it to be spicy and feisty. Chocolate and chili pair really well – I’ll use Chili! Yay – saved.
Shit. Why is it so much paler than the 78%? Quick examination of the packaging – Chili chocolate is only 47% cocoa, but an average of 62.5% isn’t terrible. And I can still add two numbers and divide by two, so all is not lost!
My take:
I screwed up the pastry. I started with the blade in the food processor and then realized I should probably be using the dough thingy. Tossed out my flour, salt, and butter and started again. It still wasn’t right. It wouldn’t stick together, but parts were too together. I am obviously not a pastry connoisseur! I cobbled it together and threw it in the fridge, hoping it would roll a bit if cold. It wasn’t a complete disaster.
The custard came out charming. I tried to make a non-chocolate custard fifteen years ago with my big sister (she’s actually quite small). We ballsed it up. This worked a dream. I have no idea what I did this time, but I’ll be making any future custard this way from now on – yay. A new cooking skill.
Once cooked, it has to cool for three hours, and then be refrigerated overnight. What travesty is this? So I waited…
Oh Lord – this was a 5 stars for all of us (well 4.5 for my eldest but we’ll ignore that). The crust turned out great – no soggy bottom. The custard was yum. A little rich, but it is chocolate custard! I might try half the chocoloate next time, but this is where an argument broke out last night. “Don’t change a thing.” “Yeah mam. Half is a good idea.” “Not half. Maybe three quarters.” Blah, blah, blah. Thankfully, I’m the mammy, so I’ll decide! My success with the custard is definitely inspiring me to make a French custard tart soon.
Props to both ladies whose recipes I used. A fantasic result!
The link to eat of their homepages:
https://www.crazyforcrust.com/
https://www.recipetineats.com/
I haven’t made anything else from Crazy for Crust. I’ve made a ton of Nagi’s recipes and have not been disappointed once!
Lesson of the day:
Pie is good. The Help is good. Minnie is an amazing woman. I’m sure most of us have at least one person in our past or present that deserves a shit pie! Hopefully we have more that deserve yummy chocolate pie without the terrible awful in it! Long live SHIT PIE!
Oh – I should probably try a “proper” Southern chocolate pie some day that would be closer to Minnie’s but this was great.
eat-my-books.com 